need Some good thougths And Preyers here--i Got Robbed!!

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:16 pm

last nite i was Away on Hushabye Mountian and sleeping Well, to. then, In the middle of the night i was Awakoned by a FOOT-PAD who Snuck into My house and broke in.

Mrs. Conjuir was in Shock as i Got a revolver STUck into my Mouth, and then the Jagoff tyed my up with Duck-tape. have you Ever tired to move Around whereing Duck-tape?

Then the footpad--or mescreant--TOOK all my Invicters; including my Subaqua homers and my Codubahs and my Prodivers and every fucking thing. then i saw that this BASTERD had put a Round up my new Doberman pitcher's wrectum and killed 'em, to. this is My new Doberman pitcher i Named after the ShopBCN hoster Don King. so Don King is Dead and all 789 of my Invicters are gone, worth over $54,281 dollers. Mrs. Conjuror is Very much in shcok and we're are both in a Bad Way over here.

i will PM MIcheal Davis soon to See what he Wood do, seeing as He's a convict and presumabuly knows the Crimminal mind.

and i'm REALLY PISSEd off over Here.

by **ericf4** on Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:21 pm

Use value pays to get those watches again.....

by mrneddles on Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:35 pm

I will send you my Invicta Seacucumber right away. Just promise me first dibs on buying it back from you in a year.

by Horse Feathers on Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:47 pm

The impertent thing is they didnt hurt you er tha misses. Damm shame about your dogs wrectum injery, can the dog doctor fixerup ?. If he cant am thankin this times you gotta pickup three or fore of em, you'all seem to go through them fast.

Can you tells us more about them invicters, I thinks we just saw a TV man selling yeur watches and I tell my wife sissy (I calls her that cause shes still my little sistar) that the TV man took the man on my webz stuff ands alreaddy sellin em. We triad to call the numbers they give but the TV man says the lines are on fire and am thankin you already found the feller and puttin em out of bisness.

Well I hopes that convict feller helps but don mention your dogs bunged up wrectum, that'll proberbly make him cry as he knows what its like to take a big load up the pooper

by Hawk on Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:52 pm

I ain't buying it.

This is one doberman pitcher too many - nobody believes anybody outside a 60 year old trailer park would steal invicters...

You jus kilt another dob3rman pitcher for no dam good reason - prolly shoving a gardin hose up his wrecktum.

Bad conjurrror, Bad! no More doberman pitchers for you!

Get one of them samoyeds - their used to getting there wrectums violineatied.

Are yoo anglin' for free watches or another sad-sak dooberman?
I'll mail you an invicter -they fall out of trees hear but I ain't sendin you no mo dawgs!

by koimaster on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:01 pm

:dfadaw:

by **Mark1** on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:03 pm

So sorry too here of your'n missforchun. PM me your addy and I"ll send some yu sum Carma Invicters your whey. I hope they ketch them basterds and string em' up. Tou bad your dog done died, I got a cousen whos a veteran in Kent, that can whisper to the critterz, if'n there not dead..

by bigedsurf on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:18 pm

Did yew save tha Duck Tayp?...Yew can use hit to fix the kinda knew Inshitya Bolt ima sendin yew............tha dam basel won't stay on hit......

by jason_recliner on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:19 pm

Dat is done sad storee. So soree to heer it. It remineds me of dis otter sad storee i red on tha inta-webs.

Thes gi was Away on Hushabye Mountian and sleeping Well, to. then, In the middle of the night hes Awakoned by a FOOT-PAD who Snuck into house and broke in.

his wiff was in Shock an Got a revolver STUck into hiz Mouth, and then the Jagoff tyed hiz up with Duck-tape.
Then the footpad--or mescreant--TOOK all hiz Invicters; including Subaqua homies an Codoobies and Prodivies an likk thet. then this BASTERD put a Round up hes Doberman pitcher's wrectum and killed 'em, to. hes was reelee pissd. the dobermann pitcha I think. or maybe the mizcreent. I kant reemmeemmbeerr tha azaact deeteels.

O no i jus reelyzed that haappinned to u an I reemmeemmbberred reedin about it haappinniinniinggg to yu. Tat is dun been sad storeey. So soreey to heer it.

by gregl515 on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:35 pm

It coulda ben wurs. He coulda jammed the gun up yer dogs ass BEFORE he jammed it in yer mouth.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:47 pm

gregl515 wrote:It coulda ben wurs. He coulda jammed the gun up yer dogs ass BEFORE he jammed it in yer mouth.

he Did; and it Tasted like chicken.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:48 pm

ericf4 wrote:Use value pays to get those watches again.....

my ShopCBN cerdit Card has bean revolked. like i Said, i'm In a Bad Way hear.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:50 pm

mrneddles wrote:I will send you my Invicta Seacucumber right away. Just promise me first dibs on buying it back from you in a year.

this Is very kinde of you, mrneaddels. i Will Pee-m you my Address around hear. i Would never Sell a wonderful Gift like This, even if I was a False PEEJAY.

by Seattle on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:53 pm

I will axe my kristyun neybor to pray fer you....

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:55 pm

Horse Feathers wrote:The impertent thing is they didnt hurt you er tha misses. Damm shame about your dogs wrectum injery, can the dog doctor fixerup ?. If he cant am thankin this times you gotta pickup three or fore of em, you'all seem to go through them fast.

Hes DEAD godamnit!

Can you tells us more about them invicters, I thinks we just saw a TV man selling yeur watches and I tell my wife sissy (I calls her that cause shes still my little sistar) that the TV man took the man on my webz stuff ands alreaddy sellin em. We triad to call the numbers they give but the TV man says the lines are on fire and am thankin you already found the feller and puttin em out of bisness.

that's Pretty sweet you can Merry and get you're sister in The Fambly Way. aroung These Parts we have to settal, like me, Four our first Cousin.

Well I hopes that convict feller helps but don mention your dogs bunged up wrectum, that'll proberbly make him cry as he knows what its like to take a big load up the pooper

This is what i Was Thinking to. i Shall Pee-M him Fourthwith.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:57 pm

Hawk wrote:I ain't buying it.

This is one doberman pitcher too many - nobody believes anybody outside a 60 year old trailer park would steal invicters...

You jus kilt another dob3rman pitcher for no dam good reason - prolly shoving a gardin hose up his wrecktum.

Bad conjurrror, Bad! no More doberman pitchers for you!

Get one of them samoyeds - their used to getting there wrectums violineatied.

Are yoo anglin' for free watches or another sad-sak dooberman?
I'll mail you an invicter -they fall out of trees hear but I ain't sendin you no mo dawgs!

godDAMN Hauwk, the Milk of Humaine kindness flows Out of you're anus like the Mighty Colomubia Surges to the See.

but Some free Invicters wood be Nice.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:58 pm

koimaster wrote: :dfadaw:

gee Thanks Koymaster. my Life is Falling apart hear, and your laffing out LOud.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:00 pm

bigedsurf wrote:Did yew save tha Duck Tayp?...Yew can use hit to fix the kinda knew Inshitya Bolt ima sendin yew............tha dam basel won't stay on hit......

jes Don't not send Me one of those Invicters with the Hands falling Off. it;s not Like i'm STUPID over Hear.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:02 pm

jason_recliner wrote:Dat is done sad storee. So soree to heer it. It remineds me of dis otter sad storee i red on tha inta-webs.

Thes gi was Away on Hushabye Mountian and sleeping Well, to. then, In the middle of the night hes Awakoned by a FOOT-PAD who Snuck into house and broke in.

his wiff was in Shock an Got a revolver STUck into hiz Mouth, and then the Jagoff tyed hiz up with Duck-tape.
Then the footpad--or mescreant--TOOK all hiz Invicters; including Subaqua homies an Codoobies and Prodivies an likk thet. then this BASTERD put a Round up hes Doberman pitcher's wrectum and killed 'em, to. hes was reelee pissd. the dobermann pitcha I think. or maybe the mizcreent. I kant reemmeemmbeerr tha azaact deeteels.

O no i jus reelyzed that haappinned to u an I reemmeemmbberred reedin about it haappinniinniinggg to yu. Tat is dun been sad storeey. So soreey to heer it.

this Is the Short of post i'd Expect from a brogan. i Figger that Beaing upside Down all the time constrects the Blood Flow to you're Brian.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:05 pm

Seattle wrote:I will axe my kristyun neybor to pray fer you....

thanks For the Thought, Seeatle. that's About all i Expected from a Athetistic lefty from the Pasific northeast.

jesus Crhist, with 645,874 Members World-wide, and these is the Best Kind thoughts and Preyers you basterds can Come up with??

by Seattle on Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:16 pm

I wood do it miself but i em figurin the babyjeezis ent got time four heethuns like me.

conjurer wrote:
Seattle wrote:I will axe my kristyun neybor to pray fer you....

thanks For the Thought, Seeatle. that's About all i Expected from a Athetistic lefty from the Pasific northeast.

jesus Crhist, with 645,874 Members World-wide, and these is the Best Kind thoughts and Preyers you basterds can Come up with??

by bigedsurf on Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:19 pm

conjurer wrote:
bigedsurf wrote:Did yew save tha Duck Tayp?...Yew can use hit to fix the kinda knew Inshitya Bolt ima sendin yew............tha dam basel won't stay on hit......

jes Don't not send Me one of those Invicters with the Hands falling Off. it;s not Like i'm STUPID over Hear.

Goddamnit hits tha one - hand modele.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:22 pm

so i Pee-m'd Micheal Davis about what to do:

Dear Micheal Davis:

As Always, when i find Myself into a Jam, i Turn too you Because you survived Four five years In the Joint and Appearantly didn't not come out Craving Man-Sause & Buggary.

i Was robed! my Dog (a Doberman pitcher) named after Don King was shot & Murdered and i Lost all my Invicters. The miscreaent also Pistol-whiped my wife Mrs. Conjirer and Broke her Head pretty Bad.

We are In a Bad Way hear. Should i Call the pole-lese or Should i Take the Law into My own hands, if you will?

Best Regards, Conjurir.

and He replayed pretty Damn qucik:

Dear Conjurer:

Yes, I think you should take the law into your own hands. Go to the worst hangouts and dive bars and biker joints you can find and ask around. Make sure you wear a nice suit and act like you're French or something; perhaps shoving a handkie into your cuff would help, too.

In short, it looks like what comes around finally got around to you, you sick retarded fuck. You've dogged me and been a monkey on my back ever since we started this bullshit forum. You call me on-air and talk about shoving a garden hose up your fucking dog's ass. I'm only sorry that the newjack that shot your dog didn't shoot you as well, you stupid motherfucking asshole.

I read this on another forum, but it sounds good--you PM me again, I'm going to stick a pineapple up your peehole. Fuck off and die, motherfucker.

Best Regards, Michael Davis.

needles Too say, i Was hoping for a better Response from Micheal Davis.

by **foghorn** on Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:28 pm

Fuk U!! Nobuddy took none of you"re wartches,thats a fakt and awl you are dooin" is tryin' to take a bandage of are good naytchur!!
Shame on you fer this shit.
Even if I had a wartch to send you I woodn"t cus I don't and thats fer sure.

by jason_recliner on Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:45 pm

its pritty obveeoss michel dayvis is sloppo and hee took yur wotches so he can posst piks of tem in the thred wer fogHon calls out sloppo hoo is michel dayves.

by **foghorn** on Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:51 pm

jason_recliner wrote:its pritty obveeoss michel dayvis is sloppo and hee took yur wotches so he can posst piks of tem in the thred wer fogHon calls out sloppo hoo is michel dayves.

You'ze fukin Ozzies think yer so smot!!

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:22 pm

foghorn wrote:Fuk U!! Nobuddy took none of you"re wartches,thats a fakt and awl you are dooin" is tryin' to take a bandage of are good naytchur!!
Shame on you fer this shit.
Even if I had a wartch to send you I woodn"t cus I don't and thats fer sure.

godamit, froggy, My good Name is beyound Reprooch. i Coulld send you some pics of Don King laying there Dead and gone, with his Bowells blow all to Hell. Wood this convence you, You heartlass basterd??

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:24 pm

jason_recliner wrote:its pritty obveeoss michel dayvis is sloppo and hee took yur wotches so he can posst piks of tem in the thred wer fogHon calls out sloppo hoo is michel dayves.

he's is like Sherlick Homes! i Take back what i sayed about You antipodians being Dumb.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:25 pm

foghorn wrote:
jason_recliner wrote:its pritty obveeoss michel dayvis is sloppo and hee took yur wotches so he can posst piks of tem in the thred wer fogHon calls out sloppo hoo is michel dayves.

You'ze fukin Ozzies think yer so smot!!

he's Smartr then you, Frog-horne. your Supposed too be the One that's is so Smart.

by **foghorn** on Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:43 pm

conjurer wrote:
foghorn wrote:

You'ze fukin Ozzies think yer so smot!!

he's Smartr then you, Frog-horne. your Supposed too be the One that's is so Smart.

No Ozzies smrter than me and that"s a fakt. if they wuz then how cum they think today is tamoroow. Huh dooshbag?? No anser just like I sucspekted.
Sorry to here about yore boogus roberry.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:47 pm

foghorn wrote:
conjurer wrote:
foghorn wrote:

You'ze fukin Ozzies think yer so smot!!

he's Smartr then you, Frog-horne. your Supposed too be the One that's is so Smart.

No Ozzies smrter than me and that"s a fakt. if they wuz then how cum they think today is tamoroow. Huh dooshbag?? No anser just like I sucspekted.
Sorry to here about yore boogus roberry.

calling Me out Are you Mr. horne? this Will end unHappyily fore You, if you Cross mental swords With me, Froggy. Like Moe Greene said in the moshun pitcher, 'I ain't No band Leader."

by **boscoe** on Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:53 pm

Ewe nead help from Ripitron and the other Geek Ko-Man-Dos who surved our natun in Da Nam and killin Towelheds with they're keyboreds.
Form a pussy and trak down that skum.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:00 pm

boscoe wrote:Ewe nead help from Ripitron and the other Geek Ko-Man-Dos who surved our natun in Da Nam and killin Towelheds with they're keyboreds.
Form a pussy and trak down that skum.

this Is the 1st Peace of Good advise that i've have heard Today, godamit. i'll Bet that Buttons will knowe what Too do.

by **foghorn** on Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:17 pm

conjurer wrote:

calling Me out Are you Mr. horne? this Will end unHappyily fore You, if you Cross mental swords With me, Froggy. Like Moe Greene said in the moshun pitcher, 'I ain't No band Leader."

No need to call out on yew cuz you ain"t there to call out on cuz yer like Nowell- A coward. See I are smot and that's not awl. I am good lookin too like a Adornis.

by Horse Feathers on Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:21 pm

Tellya whatem gonna do. I have this rare hard ter find Invicter that I bought from a feler named strutan54 over at the whatchthem geeks place. Seems they ownly made ten limityed runs of about 5000000 or so. Well I was visted with them whatchemgeeks at one of them fancy resterounts thems meet at (this fancy flapjack place all over the earth) and there watch fixin feller Mhedi2 seterup for me taking out a few of the jingly bits outa the wrist chain. Well he was a scratchin and a cussing because he was sure the arrow on the jigly piece was to be facing towards the sky when he hammered on em. Long story short he bust up most of them and now it barely fits around three fingers. I readed here thats proabaly big enufff for you as your wrist are on the lady size. Let me no if yer want it

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:30 pm

Horse Feathers wrote:Tellya whatem gonna do. I have this rare hard ter find Invicter that I bought from a feler named strutan54 over at the whatchthem geeks place. Seems they ownly made ten limityed runs of about 5000000 or so. Well I was visted with them whatchemgeeks at one of them fancy resterounts thems meet at (this fancy flapjack place all over the earth) and there watch fixin feller Mhedi2 seterup for me taking out a few of the jingly bits outa the wrist chain. Well he was a scratchin and a cussing because he was sure the arrow on the jigly piece was to be facing towards the sky when he hammered on em. Long story short he bust up most of them and now it barely fits around three fingers. I readed here thats proabaly big enufff for you as your wrist are on the lady size. Let me no if yer want it

jesus H. Crhist, Hoarse Fedders, that's is So generus of You. i've have Got a Tear in my Eyeball over Hear. some of You guys are Offering up Beauyful Invicters that You cain't were anymore; This is like One of those Nicoholas Sparx novals, except it's my Doberman pitcher who Croaks insted of the Broad on the cover.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:39 pm

foghorn wrote:
conjurer wrote:

calling Me out Are you Mr. horne? this Will end unHappyily fore You, if you Cross mental swords With me, Froggy. Like Moe Greene said in the moshun pitcher, 'I ain't No band Leader."

No need to call out on yew cuz you ain"t there to call out on cuz yer like Nowell- A coward. See I are smot and that's not awl. I am good lookin too like a Adornis.

you Mean like This jamoke?:

i'M smarte to; i Come from a smarte fambly. i Got a brother at Hah-vard. they Got him in a Bottle.

by **foghorn** on Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:56 pm

I are dun with you conjeror!! You are a fony and I nkow you aint got no bruther at harvid or Yayel cuz you are to far away from the ivee leeg colejes!
I went to kollege to and wut I lerned at ITT tech alouds me to no that you are filled with poop> I"m dun with this thred and and say hi to yor pal slofomofo cuz I hafta sleep now.
And I no shit 3 hrs before you do anyhows your not all that.

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:59 pm

foghorn wrote:I are dun with you conjeror!! You are a fony and I nkow you aint got no bruther at harvid or Yayel cuz you are to far away from the ivee leeg colejes!
I went to kollege to and wut I lerned at ITT tech alouds me to no that you are filled with poop> I"m dun with this thred and and say hi to yor pal slofomofo cuz I hafta sleep now.
And I no shit 3 hrs before you do anyhows your not all that.

HA! i got's You on ignor, Froggy. So i cain't here You any More. sleep Well you peckerwould basterd!

by **foghorn** on Thu Feb 23, 2012 8:04 pm

Wut?? I kan"t here you cuz I got you on the ignor to!!

LALALALALALALALALA I CAN"T HERE YOU"SE

good nite nadine

by conjurer on Thu Feb 23, 2012 9:57 pm

foghorn wrote:Wut?? I kan"t here you cuz I got you on the ignor to!!

LALALALALALALALALA I CAN"T HERE YOU"SE

good nite nadine

i cain't here nothing. i's is ignorming you, godamit. Whose nadine? is She Fine?

by Datsun240Z71 on Fri Feb 24, 2012 4:54 am

Hay John.

Eye dont beleav yur storry ether. The sam thyng happent two anuther fella here in Nashvil who ust ta jump out of ayrplains and drives a Nizan 350 Zee and rids motrcykles. Coencedence? I thinke no!

If itz tru, did they get yur GooGoo Clusters two?

by conjurer on Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:57 am

Datsun240Z71 wrote:Hay John.

Eye dont beleav yur storry ether. The sam thyng happent two anuther fella here in Nashvil who ust ta jump out of ayrplains and drives a Nizan 350 Zee and rids motrcykles. Coencedence? I thinke no!

If itz tru, did they get yur GooGoo Clusters two?

dang, randee, i Suppose my Story of Woe sounds like Some Body we know. this Gives me Paws, and i think Maybe i dreamed it All up, like that godamn rooster sayz. the Foot Pads didn;t not get the Googoo klusters, how ever. i Had already Packed them into my Colen, and Unlike Micheal Davis, they Didn't not want to Go there.

by Whocares on Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:26 pm

What the hell is this crap?.

by conjurer on Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:47 pm

Whocares wrote:What the hell is this crap?.

thanks Four the Kinde thoughts and preyers, Whokares!

i Found my Invicters! the FOOT-PADS had Dumped them at the Land fill down by I-57. i Also found a New Doberman pitcher tied up Their with a Rope around His neck. i Shall name him Sean Diddy who Is pretty HOT.

by Whocares on Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:44 pm

conjurer wrote:
Whocares wrote:What the hell is this crap?.

thanks Four the Kinde thoughts and preyers, Whokares!

i Found my Invicters! the FOOT-PADS had Dumped them at the Land fill down by I-57. i Also found a New Doberman pitcher tied up Their with a Rope around His neck. i Shall name him Sean Diddy who Is pretty HOT.

Glad everything worked I guess, even though
this is the strangest thread yet.

by jason_recliner on Sat Mar 03, 2012 7:32 pm

conjurer wrote:
i Found my Invicters! the FOOT-PADS had Dumped them at the Land fill down by I-57. i Also found a New Doberman pitcher tied up Their with a Rope around His neck. i Shall name him Sean Diddy who Is pretty HOT.

Grat to heer about yur new dobermann pitcher conjora. you shood mak him war a muzzal but not on hiz face butt on his behin so that the muzzal prevents foran objeks from going in his recktam. I woodnut normally say dis excepted that your dobermanns pitchers reckltums alwaz seem to have objeks going into there wrecktums.

grat to heer you gut yor invikters bak too. Mikel Dayviss mustve dropped them wille intafearin wit the tide-up dobermann pitchrr. hald on to them coz you can sell them for a proffit on craigList and yews the profftt to by a butt-wrekktumm muzzal for Sean diddee.